Getting control of your life

‚ÄčOne day I just got tired of all the problems. I was miserable about the way my life turned out and all the problems other people were causing me. I started reflecting on how things had become so miserable and what I could have done to change my circumstances. Then a harsh reality set in, an uncomfortable realization that 95% of all my problems had been self inflicted. The series of choices I had made, sugar coated with excuses, had caused a chain of events that eventually ate up more than half my life and polluted any chance of a happy or peaceful existence. 
Could it really be that my misery was my own fault? What about all those people that had said and done mean things to me? Surely they had some culpability in my failed attempt at life, or did they?
As it turned out, after some reflecting and brutal honesty with myself I realized that almost all of those mean things, and mean people, were a direct result of my own choices. 

I chose to respond and react to situations and circumstances in ways that in turn caused others to respond and react in their own ways that almost always caused me grief and misery. 

How did I get this way? Well, I learned it. I watched others all through my life react to situations and circumstances with emotion rather than basing their response on logic and rationale. No, I’m not talking about my parents as the main culprits here, it was everyone. Very few people in my life had that ability, my dad was one, my grandfather was the other one. 
If you ever get a chance to people watch, go do that for a day and watch how much emotion is put into every person as they go about their business. The airport used to be fun for that but because our entire country reacted to a serious situation out of emotions, we can’t go past security without an airline ticket now. However, the bus station or train station will give you your fill of an over emotional society that’s screaming “look at me, notice me, love me because I’m miserable.”
Sound harsh? Does that offend you? Well, how are you going to respond to me? Because your choice will determine the outcome of something this simple. You could choose to simply shake your head and scroll on past, or you can get pissed, say foul mouthed, hateful things out of spite and in turn you’ll get a few well chosen jabs about your weight, looks, or your mommy that have now stolen your peace and possibly ended a friendship or closed the door to a potentially life long friendship over a simple choice of acting on emotion. 
Now play out that scenario in a serious situation, and you can really cause some misery. Add a few people who’ll hear your whining and then spread their own version around the community and you have self inflicted misery and chaos my friend.
How we speak to people and how we choose to respond to circumstances can dramatically reduce our own misery. If we can all learn to start responding to one another better, maybe We can start speaking to and treating one another with a little more respect. I know it sounds backwards, but it has to start with someone and you can’t control the other persons tone or emotions, you can only control your response. It sounds simple, but it ain’t easy. I’m still a work in progress but I must say that life has become more manageable, not to mention that that list of people I know who have control of their own emotions has grown considerably.
I decided to change, so I made a plan to help myself. First, when making major decisions or decisions that will affect other people, I seek wise counsel from two or three people I respect and who I know won’t respond out of emotion. This forces me to take the time to consider other views I may have not considered. It also allows me to bring an issue or situation to a neutral party so I’m not emotional when discussing the circumstances.
Next, I pray about it and ask that the Lord to show me anything I may need to consider before or anything I’ve missed and to give me the wisdom and guidance to make a good decision.
Finally, on day three I reevaluate everything and make a choice or decision. Some things I’ve given a week to decide, and some I’ve waited as long as a couple months before making a choice that could make a whole lot of lives, including my own, very miserable. 
Now, I’m making decisions and choices that are leading me down a better path. People actually ask my opinion about things, and some even come to me for advice.
Every choice we make has the potential to change, alter, uplift, or destroy those around us, which in turn causes self inflicted misery.
Stop blaming others for your misery and do some soul searching, you may find a better life just around the bend.

John Seaman


Death of a child, living testimony

In memory of Kellie, her unborn baby, and Jeremy, I have been working on building a retreat for grieving parents and others suffering loss.
We are currently at a standstill, money and support is almost all gone. As we rush to start some fundraisers, I’m healing from neck surgery. It seems the Lord’s timing is always perfect.

Our facilities will not just help grieving loved ones but will also serve as a place for people who are struggling and need a hand up. We are going to open our doors to anyone God sends our way and help them with their basic needs to give them a fair chance at returning to a somewhat “normal” life again.

I believe that the way to change this world is to get involved in the lives of those in need and give them actual help, encouragement, and a decent shot at life. This is deeply involved process that includes changing diet, changing habits, lifestyle, finances, and much more. Some people need to start from scratch and learn EVERYTHING all over.

I believe this world wants to help these people but are afraid, intimidated, or they have been convinced that it’s a waste of time.
I believe it’s what Christ intended for us to do:

And Jesus answered; love the Lord thy God with all your heart, your soul, and your mind. And the second is like the first, love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two things hang all the laws and all the prophets.
This is how we know the difference of those that serve God and those that are false teachers. We can test all these other so called prophets by these two things as well. Then you can make a decision who is the living God to follow. Jesus is the only one that lived and died an innocent man. He is also the only one who arose from the dead and was witnessed in the flesh by over 500 people for 30 days before ascending into heaven. Jesus did everything publicly, His teachings and his life were spread by the same public that witnessed these things. These other guys don’t hold a candle to the life, death, or resurrection of Jesus Christ. All the information is there, you choose to either believe or not. It is not our job as Christians to make you believe. Our job is to live like Jesus who loved his neighbors, healed the sick, fed the hungry, and cared for the least of these. Our lives should be a living testimony, but we fail because we are living in a stacked deck. We need Jesus for that very reason, Grace. He took the punishment for our sins, past, present, and future. When we choose to live for Christ, we strive to free ourselves from the bondage that makes us do bad things. So, If we die and find out their is no God, and we lived a life in service to mankind caring for the sick, elderly, widows and orphans, then what do we lose? Nothing, but we have lived our lives in service of our fellow man so our life has made a positive difference. Now if there is a God and we did all these things for and because of God’s love for us, then I say we have pleased our Father and the benefits I hear are great. Now you may do good things your whole life, but reject God, do you really expect Him to come running? Not only have you rejected him, but you have encouraged others to do the same, and you expect Him to stand in your defense? Sorry my friend, Jesus loves you and wants you to live for Him, but you trust the people who influence you instead of your creator. Who we put our trust in is the root of our character. Putting your trust in yourself or others, knowing people are self sefving, is reckless.
Who do you put your trust in when it comes to the subject matter of your soul? Where do you draw your hope from? Do you have hope? Do you trust man over a higher power?

We all die. When we die, something happens. Even if that something is nothing, something happens. Are you willing to put your trust in the hands of your own limited knowledge? Are putting your trust in men that have spent their ENTIRE lives directing others away from God? Knowing how flawed mankind is, are you willing to risk eternity on these men you’ve put your trust in?
It’s worth the time to investigate for yourself. You and you alone are responsible for the choices you make. Putting your trust in men is a dangerous risk and it has already influenced your bias.
To me, it is the most important and personal decision a person will make in their entire life.
Both sides take faith to believe, so who are you putting your faith in? Man, or a creator?

If you would like to know more about our retreat, our mission, or how you can start serving God, feel free to message me.

Thank you and God Bless,

John Seaman